Hello!!!!!!!!!!! :>

i made u some love songs,, 3 are direct written to be love song, 2 are love song sentiment that ended up coming out of me :>
this is MouseGenius dot com where u can look at the lyrics and see the citizens of the MouseNet annotate them :>
its also a little online valentine space totem garden thing :>
i love u so much (& will u be my valentine? :>)

beautiful serpent

lydia portrait

pjpriincess produced; meditative

heaven's gameshow

lydia portrait

another lydia produced one, i really like this one too :> its quite vulnerable! but i guess thats inherently what love is sometimes

orchids

lydia portrait

you've heard this one asw :) also me produced! this is front half self reflection that kinda transitions into externalising a bunch of love song sentiment

purple thistle

lydia portrait

i produced this one! i really like how this one came out quite a lot :> i think this is the best i've done at capturing the ball of tangled positive feelings

take me home

new year's portrait

you've heard this one :> but this is the new one! with a verse from my friend madrie and additional production

beautiful serpent

lydia portrait

freshly faced all of the knocks on yr skin
layers; the blessings; the sweetest garden
wave crash; the coast; no, i'm not acting
oh sunlight, on my face, i could weep, elohim
set my sight, oh so late, like a freak; my head spins
all black ice & surface tension water
sweet intention, oh god we adore her
joan of arc in every single rivulet
gabriel, oh god, please dont let it fade
way too struck by the texture lets stay up late
how i crave the mundane; oh sweet reality
i'm just tryna escape all my contexts
stack pound signs & obtain sweetest bouquet of the mind
wave yr hand, secret door in the seer's tower
affirm the, the right now, like everything's fine
beautiful serpent at the bottom of the waters edge
 
even when theyre gone i still feel their presence
oh how she holds herself; a televangelist
grasp on tight, giant tortoise, never ending
do u think i'd find myself in the transience?
something pretentious? or just roadkill?
would i find a wonderland like im alice?
pretty but worthless; just can't stand still
 
oh all entranced like im really just moving sand around
vcr gore tape, in her fixations bound
hold tight, hush now, lil figurine
15 ft off the ground, waxworks enemy
everything closer temporarily,
every wall so thin, broken memory
 
something inside still trembles every time i tell u i love u
something inside still grander every time i really look @ u
little crystal droplets like its something to be cherished
something cradled in the palms; if its right then answer wrong
 
and its focus on shelter in the ice storms
little formless biovac, rare earth tiger; white n black
figures in the minds eye, formed from the coastlines
oh what's it like without the struggles in yr life?
would it still be portraiture?
would it still be things to be shared together?
 
oh, all the texturing; all the fragments the knocks on yr skin
oh, with the wooden cross; pull on the strings
all the desi- desires within
all my hopes 2 pull u closer again and again
(oh again and again)

brownmouse62 (verified)

i thought this was cute, like wooden cross for marionette with strings / christian cross as something kinda a lil circular double entendre

brownmouse62 (verified)

lots of sunlight/garden/divine metaphors when talking about love/relationships

brownmouse62 (verified)

joan of arc as big scary christian combat lady, struggle in the pursuit of something greater, rivulet as in tears/other bodily fluids haha, like this is trying to be both 'fighting through all the various layers is very worth it to me' & a like fun lil haha sex, whenever i write the double meaning things i feel rly smart like connor o malley slugs

brownmouse62 (verified)

i keep talking about black ice as a like rotten subconscious type metaphor

cool_skull_online

i think she feels strongly about whoever shes talmking about...

brownmouse62 (verified)

archangel gabriel is literally both my dad and mother, they birthed me together in the mouth of a river

brownmouse62 (verified)

i keep trying to find some way to do the hip hop braggadocio thing, it still feels kinda weird and cringe to me, i feel very weird and insecure abt it

mousematician22

ummmm this doesnt really make sense spatially as bottom is a vertical measurement and edge is a horizontal measurement..... shes so dumb :/

brownmouse62 (verified)

silly little mixed metaphor from 2 different creation myths

brownmouse62 (verified)

this and the lines above are kinda a rejection of the weird solipsist fantasy thats been popping into my head lately, like idk i could change everything but im not really sure thats the angle

brownmouse62 (verified)

:flushed:

brownmouse62 (verified)

derealisation stuff; trying to feel like less of a waxwork

brownmouse62 (verified)

contrast between something ephemeral and something more concrete but doing pretentious spiritual bullshit

big_beak_sally

we get it lydia sufferings good :rolling_eyes:

heaven's gameshow

lydia portrait

secrets like they die w/ me
arms linked in the fallen leaves,
every time i hold u in my arms its a prayer
& its a conspiracy in the halos
like u cant be this good to me
arms crossed with the box skylight break survey shows
built monuments 2 yr beauty
drawn in tarot, 3 times the fool
 
heaven's live 24/7 broadcast vivisection
carved in the stone; on the starlit road
heavens pierced; dial tone; under cellphone towers
is it some small glimpse of, of the divine?
is it just the 5g between her eyes?
 
lamp lit locks broke
lovehearts on the envelopes
bigger than anything i could comprehend
whats this feeling? what is this, providence?
 
claw tooth hammers, right next to the incense
its all good like i'll cry n shake n scream
slowly getting thru to me
 
15 points on the star; unconventional animals
use it like a kite shield; protect it from any harm,
lakeside walks but discarding the flail
hinge broke velocity; oh, put the heart on the scale
exit fugue in my heart, like its coming off the rails
largest heights, smallest mouse,
trace a thousand hearts with the tail
 
chalk pits with more beautiful clay than i ever could imagine
sweet compassion, sweetest talismans
& the metal ghost trepanned
upstream like the salmon, bleeding palms like new fashion
 
patchwork guard rail, thinnest rims round the pupils
like i could just fall in
all the doves like first prize heaven's gameshow
all the lights and musical trills
hold me close like i'd kill
no more doubts that its real
 
oh cant beleive all the things you've shown me @ my worst
all the light glitter like god the most beautiful dream
feel like i could die a thousand times
everything closer when u cross my mind
hold you close in the visual distortion,
oh like a prophecy, like its perfect

brownmouse62 (verified)

u are sacred to me

brownmouse62 (verified)

i like gameshows :> i also like combining things from different things and pretending its the same :> idk i like this little metaphor construct i think its a sweet theme for a love song

brownmouse62 (verified)

the fool is very like returned to the beginning, but thats not neccessarily a bad thing, like its a lot of exploring and forming things a new, my brother told me i think a couple times lately to embrace being the fool and it stuck with me heavily

brownmouse62 (verified)

this and the above are like trying to get at cauterization described flowerily ig

brownmouse62 (verified)

i wouldn't mind if it was :>

clawfucker69@gmail.com

we get it lydia this has been hard for u, waaaaa my girlfriends too lovely n caring, you'll never be a real femcel soldier

brownmouse62 (verified)

i had a skit on an album thats never coming out that was like 30s of me asking what's the significance of a 15 point star in different ways, i should bring it back i think

brownmouse62 (verified)

its gonna happen 1 day

brownmouse62 (verified)

i was derealised the other day and u said something about it being a pleasant dream, and it genuinely just like knocked any weird anxiety out of me, it really stuck lol

orchids

lydia portrait

circles wandering round, to the sun, in a fugue state
broke broken fixed, like no i cant relate
anhedonic, nauseous, hold tight i'll calcify
pristine moments for less, i dont really go outside
 
desperate lil diy shelf moments like
is it fixed yet, is there light inside my eyes?
all starlight crossed like empty me out
beaten bloodied bloodied bruised like
tv static way too loud
enchanted like its siren sounds
 
nutrient dry wall
subsistence dressed like overalls
i dont wanna self reflect; black mirror brand fatigue
i don't wanna conversate, knuckle down and torture me
 
3 times the fool; on the plinth and shes bleeding out
oh & the rots in yr spine like empire sounds
how the light glitter off of every lil patch of ice
can't really move rn,
said 15 prayers for the actress
siren songs of empire sounds
 
some kind of sick joke, mother of pearl and i fucking choked
lil tiny figures plasticine; got 'em on the ropes
1500 swords damocles ecclesiastes
oh so pertinent, like it couldn't mean less to me
 
you can see the brickwork in the stars
close yr eyes i promise its not that far
15 prayers upon a wounded heart
let go of the cortisol like its a start
 
holding onto anxiolosis
treat everything like its gnosis
capitulate like i'm worthless
oh lets oblate, like its never felt like this
 
sacred trysts, hands on my wrists orchids
sweet lil opposites
wont u let me be yr ornament?

brownmouse62 (verified)

i liked this one, like cant see reflection bc black mirror, also like idk if u experienced this but black mirror was really fun for like 2 episodes and then kinda was like ehhhhhhhh idk

brownmouse62 (verified)

this is some like fascist inside the psyche shit, like the very sound of an empire is enough to start encroaching, the ways that people kinda form imperialism of the self with individualism / the natural ways capital will alienate and kinda narcisise, idk been thinking about this kinda stuff a lot, probably because im still subconsciously trying to rationalise stuff :/

brownmouse62 (verified)

i passed up some kinda quite insane opportunities last year bc of stress making them unfeasible

brownmouse62 (verified)

this is just a like ironic 'wow you managed to manipulate me congrats im literally a plastic figurine that will only think the best of u'

brownmouse62 (verified)

willingly ignoring consequence, willingly letting the self get oblated, i still feel dumb

brownmouse62 (verified)

this + above is a shift in tone to something hopeful, accepting that things aren't irrevocably damaged and fertile soil to build someting does actually exist

brownmouse62 (verified)

gnosis and hypnotic/altered states happen for literally every human being every day, they just wouldnt describe it as such or maybe even recognise it,, it can have as much spiritual meaning as u want it to but that doesnt mean it doesnt happen

brownmouse62 (verified)

:)

purple thistle

lydia portrait

(???) in her eyes
oh, rapid cycle thru all the things u've meant 2 me
portraiture in the heart; slowly gently
ball of static in yr presence, oh, unrelenting
feel my heart inside the shard of ice like we're wintering
 
oh if i could,
if i could return like half of what i've felt i'd be happy
if i could find the words to begin to describe to begin to describe
 
all coiled round like a spool of wire,
i got stars in my eyes, i got stars in my eyes,
oh so greatful, that i'd share your light for just a moment
ever so lost, ever so scared, so afraid
in her arms like some semblence of saftey
lil oasis, a little vasodilated,
 
15,000 prayers to unknown entities to
waltz together; divine theatre
to tend the flock of moments between the synapses together
oh i got stars in my eyes, i got stars in my eyes, i got stars in my eyes
 
dreams of u hunched over 1970s computer consoles, cogs w/ the dials
dreams of watching shitty b movies shot on 1990s consumer grade handheld camcorders
dreams of all the greatest structures, with yr hand in mine
if only i could be frozen this time <3
 
oh, sweet autumn, i found god in the branches
sweet little divinities, right under the latches
oh, rapid cycle thru all the things you've meant to me
portraiture, of the heart, slowly gently,
oh every feeling on the spine; unrelenting
oh every crack in the film like its surfacing
 
oh if i could,
give just a sense of what its really like to not
broach all the fears the crystal balls
some sense of faith in beauty restored,
oh all the prayers, all the grace, all the certain calm
thank u for all the ways you've shown its not forever gone
 
figures in the sand every crypt archway replaced
beautiful purple thistle flowers
oh, all the walls just a little bit wider,
when whenever yr around
oh hold me close, just a little bit tighter
beautiful purple thistle flowers

brownmouse62 (verified)

i like wintering as a concept :) it made me feel less bad about naturally receding a bit in winter, i think its a natural time for some amount of recession + reflection + integration etc

brownmouse62 (verified)

cool mouse facts: i love u

brownmouse62 (verified)

we gotta watch some tokusatsu :>

brownmouse62 (verified)

everything in my life that's felt the most sacred always feels like it comes from small or unassuming places, real god of lost kitchen drawers type beat

brownmouse62 (verified)

actually not existing in fear of someones future actions is quite novel, its still not consistent but the bits where it is happening are so wonderful

brownmouse62 (verified)

outlines of past far off unhappy things, recontextualising or straight up replacing

brownmouse62 (verified)

like the opposite of walls closing in :>

brownmouse62 (verified)

have u seen these? i really love them

take me home

new year's portrait

[lyd]
oh wont u take me home?
leave an imprint in yr memory foam
oh, sweet desert rose
oh im scared, bitch i know
oh we love you i know
 
is it real? is it real? is it real? is it real?
is it real? is it real? is it real? is it real?
 
is the tiny little ghost just so fragile
oh paranoid, i see ghosts in the rafters
is it really real oh sweet everlasting
 
oh wont u take me home?
leave an imprint in yr memory foam
oh, sweet desert rose
 
hold me close like we'll never be alone
1500 fires like like its rome
hold me close i dont wanna be alone
and i know im scared rn,
solidify u tell me how
lift the light right 2 the doubt
ancient crystal let me out
 
every hackle raised, every flower fate,
mouse inside a maze, walking on the lake
all wrapped up like its spiders legs
oh sweetest love; quiet down the threats
oh sweetest bug; we can coruscate
oh leap of faith; can we risk it
 
[madr]
oh automated life
she hovers 'round the bedroom light
touching oscillating wires
waiting for a clearer sign
 
every sound needs a reply
involuntarily obliged
too mechanised to be alive
trapped by the web she organised
 
oh suffocated life
suspended at the border line
separated by the height
powerless to override
 
oh complicated life
draped in silk beside the nightlight
fragile carapace she knit
past the point to reconsider it
 
[lyd]
oh wont u take me home?
leave an imprint in yr memory foam
oh, sweet desert rose
oh we love you i know
 
is it real? is it real? is it real? is it real?
is it real? is it real? is it real? is it real?

brownmouse62 (verified)

this was written a while ago when i was much more markedly a mess of paranoias

brownmouse62 (verified)

kinda a rejection of the above, ghost as the fragment of the holy spirit, feeling some amount of spiritual winnowing / obfuscation from the self

brownmouse62 (verified)

passion, i really like the 'people think about roman empire a lot' thing but as a love song thing, i think its cute, like the concept of being someones roman empire etc

brownmouse62 (verified)

a lot of the fears etc (again, less now) really felt alien to me in a way that made me feel like not myself, or trapped/paralysed somehow

brownmouse62 (verified)

a lot of this really was like strength of emotion combined with very tangible fear / feeling like things were threatening (imagined), i'm happy it feels less like this to me a month or two onward

drkeyboard (verified)

i'm on a mechanical computery lyrics kick right now. but also i was looking up at a cobweb on my ceiling and i wanted to write about the deterministic life of a spider

drkeyboard (verified)

that's where the flies live. and the real cobweb was pretty close

drkeyboard (verified)

it's like computer, but really it's just a spider reacting to vibrations on her web

drkeyboard (verified)

I kind of wanted to make sure I could hold position for a little while without advancing the story but i guess i totally went back on that in the next line without thinking

drkeyboard (verified)

stimulus causes response, no self-doubt or greater plan

drkeyboard (verified)

i think i'm just overexplaining obvious lines maybe hehe

drkeyboard (verified)

she's planted her web now, it's too late to balloon off somewhere else. and it's a thing she made in her service but it's her only domain. and it's a little human reflection of 'wow i'm stuck where I am because of choices I made years ago'. also web is like world wide web but it's not like there's a real parallel thematically

drkeyboard (verified)

she feels restrained, like she hasn't hit her potential. or am I just projecting. she probably doesn't feel anything

drkeyboard (verified)

she can't go past the edge of her web, she's not got the energy and she's all the way up there

drkeyboard (verified)

hey i was thinking a little suicidally here, or inversely how she might just not be capable of that instinct

drkeyboard (verified)

probably the most boring of the 'oh * life's but hey i just meant the double whammy of 'this is quite a complicated algorithm she has to live' and 'wow, this is a bit of an emotional mess'

drkeyboard (verified)

i'm imagining a sad woman in a silk dress. but she's a spider woman

drkeyboard (verified)

protected by her little silk strings

drkeyboard (verified)

she can't do anything new, she's too old, this routine is all that's left